


This is Our Frequency

by jjongbluemoon



Series: the "what if" series [2]
Category: SHINee
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, blue night au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:56:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjongbluemoon/pseuds/jjongbluemoon
Summary: Kim Jonghyun is completely head over heels for his friend, Lee Jinki, and has been since the start of his career on Blue Night Radio, yet he finds he’s more comfortable sitting on the side lines watching from afar. That is until Kim Kibum, Jinki’s old college friend, walks into the picture.or “what if jonghyun was pining for jinki but still selflessly encourages him to pursue kibum because he values friendship over his own feelings?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: There are some instances in this story where, if you've read the 1st part, things are identical and this is an artistic choice. this is an au that has 3 possible endings and the first was the jongkey edition and this part is the jongyu. if you have a problem with this stylistic choice, please just do not continue to read, i've worked hard on this au.
> 
> hello all! if you've read my previous work you know that i've been a fan of shinee for nearly five years but i've never written fanfiction before. i'm using this series and all of my other work as a means to cope with my own depression and the grief of losing jonghyun. If reading about him is too much, please do not force yourself to read my work. however, if you are like me and see fanfiction as a way for jonghyun to get his multitude of happy endings that he deserves then please enjoy :)  
> updates will be frequent.
> 
> i won't be posting any other author's notes after this so if you have any questions, just leave them in the comments - i promise i reply to every single one.
> 
> also, don't be afraid to let me know what you think of the fanfic, but please be kind in your criticisms.
> 
> This is the second part in a small series i'm calling the "what if" series or, in my head "the blue night au".
> 
> Thank you if you decide to continue reading! I hope you enjoy :)

Kim Jonghyun watched as the snow fell delicately from his studio window. The world outside had been tinted in navy blue wash and the snow that descended reflected off the dull, yellow street lights, whilst the DJ was stuck inside a well-lit room, surrounded by a group of people, all going over the procedure and schedule before he was due to go live.

As per usual, he found himself lost amongst the din of voices around him and instead focused on the window that housed him away from the winter world he wanted to immerse. He only vaguely registered that he was being spoken to when a hand came out to wave in front of his face.

He blinked up at the PD, Kang Seulgi, looking at him with a bewildered but charming smile.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” Jonghyun asked, smiling sheepishly. Seulgi rolled her eyes but her smile only brightened. A day rarely passed by where Seulgi wasn’t smiling about something, be it as trivial as a good cup of coffee or hitting all the green lights as she drove into work.

“I said that because this is a special end-of-year show, I thought we would do a round-up of the best songs of the year. And take some holiday requests, as well.”

Holiday requests meant messages from people overseas or in the military who weren’t able to visit family on Christmas day or New Years.  Jonghyun never cared much for them, especially since they were all usually couple related and as a professional bachelor for the fifth year running, the idea of romance made him uncomfortable. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in anyone; in fact it was quite the opposite. However, his ideals of a relationship were far-fetched and incredibly out of his reach given the circumstances. He was bitter towards the couples who got to be with the ones they wanted so easily, it made the growing loneliness is heart ache a little more.

“Alright,” he simply said, nodding his confirmation to Seulgi. She grinned at him before ticking a few things off of her clipboard.

“We’ll be live in five minutes!” She then barked out, making her way from Jonghyun to the sound engineers who were checking over the mics and sound board. One of them, Jonghyun’s long-time friend Lee Jinki, jumped backwards when he felt Seulgi’s presence behind him and nearly spilt the coffee her assistant, Joy, had been bringing to her. Jonghyun watched with an amused smirk as Jinki bowed over and over again in apology to both Joy and Seulgi, who both waved it off with kind smiles. As the two women walked away, Jinki scratched his head in embarrassment before turning around. His eyes landed on Jonghyun, who had been watching him intently, and he flashed him a large grin.

“I hear you might have Taemin on next week,” Jinki then said, leaning up against one of Jonghyun’s monitors. It shifted under his weight and he began to lose his balance, but straightened both himself and the monitor flawlessly. Jonghyun almost applauded him _, oh hyung, you’re just too adorable_.

“Yeah, that’s what I heard too,” Jonghyun replied, turning to his papers and shuffling them through to distract himself from staring at Jinki for too long. “I wouldn’t be surprised, he made his massive debut as a solo artist and his song’s been at the top for almost 20 weeks.”

“It’s a good song,” Jinki replied. He then pushed himself from the table to mimic the signature airplane move in Taemin’s music video. Jonghyun laughed loudly, his heart thudding in his chest. His hyung really was just too adorable. He opened his mouth to say something to Jinki but before he could a loud beeping in his headphones sounded to alert him to the fact that he only had 60 seconds left until going live. Jinki took his leave, waving at his friend before taking his place in the sound booth, watching over the live show. Jonghyun mimicked Jinki’s wave with a dreamy smile on his face, sighing into the mic.

“Hello and welcome to Blue Night, thank you for sharing this space with me today. My name is Jonghyun and I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas on this special day.” He flipped through some of his papers again as his intro song began to play, chiming happily through his headphones. He began to mouth along to the lyrics he’d composed in a single sitting, a spur of a moment choice when Seulgi had mentioned that a song or a jingle would bring the ratings up – she had been right.

“Today we’ve decided to do something different,” Jonghyun said into the mic, pretending that the audience he loved so much was sitting with him right now rather, smiling at him as they hung onto every word. “But first, let’s talk about the snow. I’ve been watching the snow all evening and I think it’s the prettiest right now, when it’s late and there are no cars around… and it settles on the ground. I always feel the warmest when it snows because I like to wear sweaters a lot and there’s just something so comforting about the weather. It makes me think of curling up with a loved one and drinking warm drinks.” He licked his lips and sighed. “Snow, in my opinion, is more poetic than rainfall, and I like rainy days too… but there’s something about snow, about how it only occurs when it’s the perfect temperature and how pristine and clean it looks untouched.”

He looked up to the sound booth to see Seulgi giving him a thumbs-up. “But, as we watch this peaceful snow, perhaps we shall play a song fit for this weather. Here’s Wendy-ssi with _Wish Tree_.”

As the opening notes began to fill his ears, Jonghyun immediately looked over his monitors towards the sound booth. Jinki was immersed in his work, checking over audio levels and if the song was playing correctly. His pink tongue stuck out of his plush lips in concentration, his thick brows knitted together as he focused. With a heavy sigh, Jonghyun then pushed himself away from the desk and watched as the snow began to fall a little heavier than before – big, fat flakes kiss his window before melting away. He sighed wistfully and closed his eyes, pretending he was stood outside in the snow, catching each flake in his gloved palms. He’d love snow ever since he was a kid, when his mother would always overdo it with a padded winter coat, thick scarf, his sister’s old beanie that was too big to fit his small head, and mittens smothering his little hands. All it had taken was for the first snowflake to peck his red, runny nose, and from that moment, he’d been entranced.

Even now, at twenty-five with a job, the snow left him feeling whimsical and enchanted.

Wendy’s last night note brought him back to the real world and he rolled his chair back to the desk, humming along with the last few notes.

“Wendy-ssi has such a beautiful voice, don’t you think? It’s hard to imagine she only debuted last year…” Jonghyun took a deep breath. “As we’re reaching a special time of the year, a time we like to spend with loved ones, it’s hard for us to imagine a time without them. Here on Blue Night, we are taking today as a chance for people who are away from their loved ones to send messages of love and hope.” He looked up to the sound booth and Seulgi made a hand gesture that he was receiving a phone call. “It seems like we’ve already received one.” He reached across to the soundboard and put through the call. “Hello, you’re live on air with Jonghyun.”

“Yes, hi, hello,” a voice crackles through. It sounded distressed, breathless, and masculine. “I’d like to send a message to my boyfriend in the army. Jino, if you’re listening, I know about your secret girlfriend! I hope you enjoy Christmas alone from now on, you bastard!”

Jonghyun blinked wildly, unsure as to what had just occurred. Seulgi’s face was a picture perfect vision of confusion and anger - this was one of the rare occasions where she lost her smile. As he watched her, waiting for a signal to do anything, he realised that the line hadn’t ended and the stranger on the other line was still on the air.

“No, let me go, Woohyun!” The caller yelled. “I’m doing this for me, for once; I’m doing this for me!”

Jonghyun was speechless. “Um…” He licked his lips nervously and began to tug at the sleeve of his sweater. “Hello?”

The other line went silent for a long moment. “Hello?” He heard the voice say. “This is Blue Night?”

“Yes, you are live on air…” Jonghyun had been thrown off from his routine and, like a song stuck on repeat, decided to start over as if nothing had happened.

The other line coughed. “I think I’ve said all I need to say,” the voice said. “My name’s Key.”

“Hello, Key-ssi. Jino is your boyfriend?”

“He’s a cheating scumbag! He’s no boyfriend of mine!” Key took a deep breath. “You hear that Jino? When you get back from the army, your stuff will be on the streets. Don’t you dare come back to me!”

“Key-ssi-“

“I’m sorry; I have to go now, Jonghyun-ssi. Have a good Christmas.”

And then the line went dead and Jonghyun looked over to the sound booth. Seulgi made a panicked gesture and Jonghyun nodded.

“Please enjoy Taemin’s _Danger_ , we shall return to our holiday requests after this song.”

The song began to play and Jonghyun exhaled deeply, but he couldn’t fight the smile creeping onto his lips. Whilst Key’s call had been unconventional to say the least, it provided a small piece of entertainment to Jonghyun. He felt a pang of sympathy for the anonymous caller, but he couldn’t help but feel elated to know that someone else would be spending Christmas as a certified bachelor, even if the bachelor himself was love-sick.

* * *

The show always finished late into the night, around 2am, and usually Jonghyun would avoid a group outing to the nearest bar for a round of beers and soju to go home and write poetry in his secret notebook, but this time he found himself tagging along.

Jinki had his arm wrapped around Jonghyun’s shoulder, pulling him close, as the cold air hit their warm faces, biting at their skin. Jonghyun pulled his turtleneck up a little higher over his chin, dipping his head down and away from the wind.

“I swear to God, I’m never letting anyone take live calls anymore,” Seulgi gritted her teeth. “That was a giant mess.”

“In all fairness,” Jonghyun said, voice directed to the ground as he looked up through long lashes. “After Key, everything else went smoothly.”

Seulgi paused to think for a moment. “You are right, but it takes one to ruin the lot. That Key… I never want to hear his voice on my show ever again!”

Jinki grinned and pulled away from Jonghyun, who instinctively chased after the missing contact before pulling himself together. “Did I hear you right? Soju shots are on you?”

The entire crew began to jeer.

“No! I never said-!” Seulgi’s fight was lost in the whirlwind of snow as the sound engineers, and Joy, began to run down to the bar, cheering for their boss. “Oh, what the hell,” Seulgi said with a bright smile. “It _is_ Christmas after all.”

Jonghyun watched as she ran to catch up to them, leaving him to trail behind. He didn’t mind the moment of solitude, watching as the snow continued to fall, blossoming against the ground into a riverbed of white. He stopped under a streetlight and watched as the snow trickled down. In a moment of curiosity, he opened his mouth and allowed a flake to float onto his tongue where it melted into nothingness.

“Jonghyun!” A voice called over to him and Jonghyun looked down, away from the endless darkness above him. Jinki was watching him with an amused grin. “You coming or not?”

Jonghyun returned the smile. “Sure, I’m coming.” He walked quickly over to his friend and allowed himself to be pulled into a one-armed hug. Jinki smelled like sandalwood – his favourite perfume – and the lingering scent of fried food from the bar.

“You sure do love snow, huh?”

Jonghyun hid his reddened cheeks. He did love snow but it wasn’t what he loved most. In all honesty, he loved everything about winter, but there was something magical about the dark sea of navy in the sky and the endless flurry that seemed to tumble from nowhere. He made a mental note to write about the snow in his poetry book, but for now, he was content sitting between Jinki and Joy and enjoying a couple of beers with his co-workers.

Jinki brought up Key again, much to Seulgi’s agitation. She began to curse him out, tipsily and warned Jinki and Yunho to screen their calls more effectively from now on. Jonghyun watched Jinki from the corner of his eye as the elder laughed out loud at their boss, leaning on the wooden table, half-empty beer tankard in one hand. His entire face scrunched up when he laughed and Jonghyun found himself smiling along – even if he had no idea what was going on at the current moment. Jinki just had that effect on him.


	2. Chapter 2

It took the pale light of a crisp winter morning blaring through his opened window to wake Jonghyun up completely. He’d lost track of how much he had to drink after the second beer and he was certain that Jinki had been the guy to shove two shots of Soju into his face immediately after. His memory blacked out after that and all he could remember from that point on was the tweeting of birds, the mechanical sound of cars outside, and the monotonous vibration of his phone by his head.

His head pounded, his eyes burning, Jonghyun slowly and groggily propped himself up onto his elbows and fished for his phone amongst the tangled bedsheets. He blinked at the name on his phone a few times before a wave of nausea surged through him.

He swallowed thickly, pausing to see if he was actually going to go through and throw up on his bed, before deciding it was a false alarm and answering his phone.

“Hello?”

“Ah, good morning, my shining star!” Minho greeted on the other end with an unconcealed chuckle. Jonghyun groaned into the receiver as he collapsed into his pillow. “Ah, not such a good morning to you, I guess?”

“I stayed out till late drinking… at least, I think I did… I don’t remember much.”

Minho laughed, throaty and unforgiving to Jonghyun’s throbbing headache. “I’m glad actually; I was worried you’d spent last night alone.”

Jonghyun mumbled something into his pillow that Minho couldn’t catch.

“Say that again, hyung.”

“I said: you don’t have to worry about me.” He could hear the smile on Minho’s end from the intake of air.

“That’s what you always say but it won’t stop me from caring. Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas because I’m going to be out of the country until after New Year’s.”

“What? Why?”

“Ah, just the usual… The wife wants to visit her family in France and I thought it’d make a nice change to experience Christmas in another country. Why? Are you going to miss me, hyung?”

Jonghyun was too hungover to care about any filter. “Yeah. You’re my best friend, you giant idiot.”

“I’m glad you think so highly of me. Anyway, have a good holiday, hyung, take care of yourself.”

“You too, Minho,” Jonghyun grumbled into the pillow and both ends went quiet before Minho hung up and Jonghyun was left with a silent phone pressed to his ear. He contemplated between the choices of getting up and proceeding through his day like a regular human, or staying in bed until night fell and then staying in until the next dawn.

He was content on staying in bed before his stomach grumbled in desperation, and a flash of pain ripped through his head. Sure, he could just stay in bed and starve and dehydrate like a sheet of seaweed but for some reason a cool glass of water felt like the most tantalising thing right now.

Despite his better judgements, Jonghyun climbed out of bed and shoved his feet into his plush slippers before shuffling along, through his bedroom into the hallway and to the kitchen. He missed Jinki’s sleeping lump on his sofa as he entered his kitchen and ran a tap as he grabbed a glass.

A moan startled Jonghyun and he let out an operatic scream in surprise, almost dropping the glass onto the floor. Shakily, he stepped out to where his sitting room met his kitchen.

“Oh, Jinki-hyung, it’s just you,” Jonghyun said, pressing his free hand into his chest to calm his racing heartbeat. “Wait… what are you doing here?”

Jinki responded with a series of groans and moans, and he looked a lot worse for wear than Jonghyun felt. His brunet hair was stuck up in all ends and his small eyes were barely open. His lips were dry and cracked and his clothes from the night before were rumbled from sleeping on Jonghyun’s sofa.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Uh huh,” Jinki replied, nodding very slowly.

Jonghyun offered Jinki his best smile, despite his internal conflict, and turned back to the sink. He filled up the glass he held with water and took it out to Jinki. He accepted the glass with two hands and gulped the water down noisily, barely taking time to breathe.

“Thank you,” he then said, hoarsely and Jonghyun took the glass back and filled it up once more before putting it down on the coffee table for later. He then retreated back to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, gulping it down without pause.

“Do you remember much, hyung?” Jonghyun asked from the kitchen as he watched Jinki scratch at his wild hair and glance around for his glasses.

“No,” Jinki replied. “You?”

“Nothing. I blacked out after the soju.”

“Would it be rude of me to fall back asleep on your sofa?”

“Not at all,” Jonghyun laughed. He felt like doing the same. “I’m going to back to bed myself. Wanna go get some ramen later when we feel better?”

“If we feel better,” Jinki corrected.

“If _you_ feel better, hyung.” Jinki squinted up at him. “I’m already starting to feel better, but I could do with more sleep. Night!”

“Night,” Jinki grumbled, not bothering to correct Jonghyun this time. He fell back to sleep quickly, breathing quietly and rhythmically.  Jonghyun made his way back to his room and flopped back onto his bed. His eyes began to close almost immediately and before Jonghyun could begin to count sheep, he was nodding off.

* * *

A few hours later, the sun having set long ago and the sky was once again painted in darkness, the two emerged from Jonghyun’s apartment, gasping for food.

Jinki remained a man of few words as he and Jonghyun made their way down the street towards the well-lit restaurant area a few blocks away from the apartment. The ramen shop had opened a few months ago and Jonghyun had become a frequent customer, raving about the food to Jinki with every chance he got.

“What are your plans for Christmas, hyung?” Jonghyun asked, trying to make light conversation.

“I’m gonna just stay at home I think… maybe go visit my parents.”

“No girlfriend?”

“I would tell you if I had one,” Jinki said. “No, no girlfriend.”

Jonghyun inhaled air through his teeth. “It’s such a shame, too.”

Jinki peered at Jonghyun through long lashes and nudged at him with his elbow. “I could say the same to you.”

Jonghyun fought off a smile on his lips, bundled himself closer, crossing his arms over his chest, as they turned the corner. The street was busier than they expected, a lot of vendors were staying open over the holidays and couples were out on dates in the masses, snuggled together to combat the cold weather. “Hmm… I’m not the dating kind,” Jonghyun said, half expecting Jinki to start bombarding him with all kinds of compliments, maybe slip in a love confession or two.

“Jonghyun, you’re daydreaming again,” Jinki laughed as he slung an arm around Jonghyun’s shoulder. Jinki just emanated head and comfort and Jonghyun leaned in a little closer, pleased. “Where’s this ramen restaurant?”

Jonghyun pointed towards the small little shack with neon-lit kanji hanging outside. “It’s that one.”

They picked up their pace, both wrapped up in each other and ignoring a few pointed glances from other patrons – Jonghyun was far too immersed in the closeness with Jinki to think about the implications of their skinship. Just as they were about to reach the ramen place, a heavy weight crashed into Jonghyun’s side.

“Hey, watch it!” The voice barked back and the two men turn to apologise.

“Sorry, we’re still a little dru- Kibum?”

The other figure, a man named Kibum, blinked at them through thick rimmed glasses. “Oh, my God, Jinki-hyung! How are you?”

“I’m great, thank you. A little hungover but…”

Kibum let out an airy laugh, tossing his head back and pushing Jinki’s shoulder gently. “That’s just like you hyung, you always were a heavy drinker.”

Jinki watched the exchange with a bewildered expression, eyeing the way Jinki grinned whenever Kibum touched him. His friend must’ve felt his eyes on him because he was suddenly roped into the conversation.

“Kibum, allow me to introduce you to my good friend, Kim Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun beamed at his hyung and then turned to Kibum who gave him a quick glance over. “Hello, Jonghyun.”

“Hi,” Jonghyun returned meekly but Kibum had already continued divulging in a conversation with Jinki. Jonghyun didn’t like the way Kibum laughed whenever Jinki said something, and he definitely didn’t like the way he flirted with him. However, he could smell the salty ramen broth calling him from behind and he began to shift uncomfortably on alternating feet.

“Anyway, I have a few errands to run before all the shops close. I’ll see you later, hyung. Is your phone number still the same?” Kibum said at last and Jonghyun nearly sighed in relief.

“You bet it is!” Jinki replied with a bright smile, a complete contrast to the ghost he had been earlier. Kibum grinned and waved goodbye, bowing politely to Jonghyun before tearing off into the night, melting into the growing crowd.

Jonghyun growled low in his throat. “I’m hungry, hyung,” he bit out and grabbed Jinki’s arm to pull him into the restaurant.

* * *

“So, who was that earlier?” Jonghyun asked after tipping back two cups of green tea and sucking down a whole bowl of pork ramen. He tried his best not to let his jealousy show but it was a little hard to control. The way Kibum was clambering all over Jinki left a bitter taste in Jonghyun’s mouth that the ramen just couldn’t wash away.

“Oh, Kibum?” Jinki asked, stirring his ramen with his wooden chopsticks. “We went to college together. We were in the same theatre club.”

“You went to theatre club?” Jonghyun asked, resting his chin against his palm as he watched his hyung.

“I have a thing for the arts,” Jinki said with a quick nod. “Kibum, however, saw it as his calling. Acting was all he loved to do.”

“What was his major?”

“Literature and the fine arts.”

“A match made in heaven,” Jonghyun replied, holding back his sarcasm.

“Yeah, he was really good too… Last I heard of him was after I graduated and he was chosen to play Frankie in _Catch Me If You Can_ and apparently he’s been making waves after that.” Jinki slurped up a few noodles and took a bite out of his pork medallion. “Why are you asking me? Interested?”

“In him? No way,” Jonghyun replied. “He’s too… he just sounds too high maintenance.” _He’s nothing like you, hyung._

Jinki bit back a laugh as he slurped up a few more noodles. “He comes across that way, but he’s really nice once you get to know him.”

“Sounds like you’re the one who’s interested,” Jonghyun joked. The silence that came from his elder left a worrying sensation in the pit of his stomach. “ _Are_ you interested in him?”

“Well…” Jinki trailed off. “He’s very pretty… I don’t know, I don’t think he’d go for me, do you?” He asked Jonghyun sincerely. He looked genuinely disconcerted, furrowed browns and an upturned mouth, Jonghyun’s heart leapt into his throat and he swallowed thickly.

“He’d be crazy not to, hyung,” he then said, wishing he hadn’t started this.

Jinki gave Jonghyun a small smile. “You’re a good friend, Jonghyun. I’m going to ask him out. You won’t mind if he joins us on our karaoke night, right?”

Jonghyun began to choke, thumping at his chest. Jinki poured him another cup of green tea and shoved it into his hands. Jonghyun sipped on it until his choking subsided. He gasped for air for a few moments before turning back to Jinki, voice hoarse and whispered. “Why? That’s our time.”

“Well, I… I’m not great at dates, that’s all,” Jinki confessed, scratching at his head. “I’ll be honest, I’ve… I’ve never been on one before.”

Jonghyun nearly fell off his chair, he hadn’t known that about Jinki and now he was even more angry at the fact he was willing to waste his experience with that Kibum instead of him. “Hyung, you’ve never been on a date before?”

Jinki shook his head, sucking in his bottom lip worriedly. “God, I’m such a loser, Kibum would never date me. Forget I said anything.”

Despite every nerve of his body saying no, Jonghyun couldn’t let Jinki deprecate himself like that, especially when he was one of the kindest, most genuine people Jonghyun knew. Jinki had a heart of gold and he deserved to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. “No, hyung, invite him to karaoke this weekend.”

Jinki immediately brightened. “Thank you, Jonghyun! You’re such a great friend!” Jinki pulled Jonghyun into a hug and the blond pressed his nose against Jinki’s coat. He really hoped that the heartache and heartbreak would be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about not updating on saturday! i just didn't feel up to it. i've been ill since friday and then jjong's birthday happened so... i was dealing with a lot.
> 
> updates will alternate weeks now as i am starting a new job on thursday and along my course, i won't have a lot of time to spare so, this week will be this fic's update  
> and then i'll miss next week for my other fic, Your Song's on Replay  
> and then the week after i will be updating this week and that's how it'll go until this fic is complete.  
> i hope you will all be able to understand
> 
> thank you for the support thus far <3


	3. Chapter 3

“Oh this is no good,” Jonghyun lamented as he ran through his clothing. He liked to pride himself on looking as stylish as he could afford but his very slim salary from working on Blue Night only got him so far. He looked good in the clothes he wore, he couldn’t deny that, but his clothes didn’t _always_ look good. He pulled out an old blue shirt and held it up against himself. “Nope.” He threw that on the bed.

He ran a hand through his damp, bleached hair and sighed heavily – if only Minho were here, he’d be able to give him some advice, but stupid Minho had to go on his stupid trip to France with his  stupidly beautiful wife.

“Come on, Jonghyun, cursing Minho will get you nowhere,” he said to himself and tried again, looking through his clothes again. He found a tailored blazer with large bronze buttons hanging in the back, a birthday gift from Minho (“Imported from Milan, hyung, would you believe?”). He tugged it on over his shoulders and grinned when it still fit perfectly like a glove.

Underneath, he chose a plain white t-shirt and some distressed jeans. He fought his feet into an old pair of army boots he had since he was a teenager. He looked at himself overall in the mirror and nodded, he looked alright – in fact, he looked so good he would stop himself in the street and ask for his own number.

“Jonghyun, you need to get out more,” he reproached himself and quickly checked the time on his phone. He had about fifteen minutes to get to the karaoke bar in Gangnam. Quickly, without thinking, he grabbed a pair of black rimmed glasses and shoved them on his head and ran some wax through his hair to style it back. On the way out, he snatched up his thick, padded coat and his wallet and keys and raced out of his apartment.

The trains were packed, as per usual on a Saturday night, and Jonghyun found himself squashed up against the doors. Only one more stop until he reached Gangnam and then it was a short walk out of the east exit to the karaoke bar.

* * *

“Hyung!” Jonghyun waved at Jinki, who was already stood in front of the bar ready and waiting. He was dressed well – grey button up beneath a fitted black cardigan and jeans.

“Ah, Jonghyun, you’re here,” Jinki said, sighing in relief. “Kibum hasn’t turned up yet… You don’t think he’s decided not to come after all?”

 _I hope so_ , Jonghyun thought. “Don’t be silly, hyung, maybe he just likes to be fashionably late,” he said instead, patting Jinki’s shoulder gently. “You look good, hyung.”

“Thank you,” Jinki replied, but his voice sounded distant and reproachful. He kept looking down the street, in both directions, trying to see Kibum’s figure. “Ah, it’s no hope, Jonghyun. I was silly to get my hopes up on this. Why would he want to date me?”

“Hyung, you’re being paranoid now. Kibum would be crazy not to date you,” Jonghyun said, rubbing at Jinki’s back. “You must be cold – where’s your coat?”

“I forgot it,” he muttered miserably.

Jonghyun wanted more than anything to take Jinki back to his flat and warm him up with a cup of coffee and an old movie, but instead he took off his own padded coat and handed it over to the elder.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re cold and I’m not. Have my coat,” Jonghyun offered, throwing it over Jinki’s shoulders. The brunet smiled gratefully and tugged the coat closer.

“Sorry I’m late!” A voice called out and both men turned to see Kibum running up to them. Jonghyun’s stomach dropped to his feet when he saw that Kibum was dressed in a tight black t-shirt and ruby red leather jacket. His black jeans clung to his toned legs, skin peeking out through a series of well-placed rips. He also wore platform boots, studs accenting the outside. “I hope you two haven’t been waiting long.”

“Not at all,” Jinki said, smiling brightly the moment he saw Kibum. “You look amazing.”

Kibum smiled bashfully. “Thank you, hyung. Shall we go inside?”

“We shall,” Jonghyun muttered and turned on his heel. He entered the establishment first, leaving the other two to trail behind him, talking amongst themselves. He must’ve had a horrible look on his face because as soon as he reached the bar, the woman behind it immediately backed up.

“A room for three please,” Jinki said when he emerged behind Jonghyun. He shot his friend a weird look and then nudged him. “Cheer up, it’s a Saturday night.”

Jonghyun forced a smile and Jinki laughed, throwing his arm, yet again, around Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Hyung, your date might get confused if you do this too often,” Jonghyun admonished.

Jinki shrugged. “You’re my friend and I want to cheer you up.”

It left his heart feeling light and free and he energetically paid for the first round of drinks between the three of them. He watched the money evaporate from his wallet, sighing at how expensive karaoke bars were.

As they got their drinks, they were lead up to the top floor, overlooking the whole area. Jinki awed at the bright lights and nightlife whilst Kibum sat down on the plush sofa gently and ran through a list of songs the bar had to offer. Jonghyun was torn between standing with Jinki and admiring the nightscape or sitting down and looking over the music with Kibum.

“Jonghyun, come see this!” Jinki said, motioning over. Jonghyun shot a quick glance over at Kibum, feeling smug that he had been the one to be called over and not his date. Kibum however paid no mind and instead continued looking over the songs, his pretty lips pressed against the rim of his pint glass.

“Wow, it’s so pretty, hyung,” Jonghyun said, joining Jinki at the window.

“Kibum, come see this view.”

Jonghyun’s heart plummeted when he heard the squeak of leather give as Kibum stood up and walked over. Jinki was watching him carefully as he walked over and when Kibum pressed up against the glass to look outside, an awkward hand hovered over Kibum’s shoulders.

“Don’t,” Jonghyun whispered in Jinki’s ear and he watched as the elder dropped his arm by his side lifelessly.

“It is pretty at night,” Kibum said. “But, I’d rather sing some songs. I’m going first!” He bounded over to the machine and pulled one of the wireless microphones free. He then took the remote and ran through the channels before landing on a song he liked: Tiffany’s _I Just Wanna Dance_.

Jinki and Jonghyun took their seats, beside one another and watched as the music began to start and Kibum began with a roll of his neck. He followed along with the dance moves flawlessly, even Jonghyun was impressed. It didn’t last long however, when he caught a glimpse of Jinki, who was staring at Kibum with the widest eyes Jonghyun had ever seen.

The song ended and Kibum took a bow when Jinki applauded him. “Who’s next?” Kibum asked, holding out the microphone.

“Oh, Jonghyun, you go next!” Jinki said. “You have such an amazing voice.”

Jonghyun scoffed into his beer. “Hyung, your voice is just as good.”

Kibum glanced between them irritably. “Well, someone go up!”

“I’ll go,” Jonghyun finally said, standing up and shimmying past Jinki. He swore, for a brief second, he felt a careful hand on his hip, but it was fleeting. “Give me a song, Jinki-hyung!”

Jinki hummed under his breath. “Ooh, how about this one!” Kibum suggested, leaning across the table and pressing his lips against the shell of Jinki’s ear. Jonghyun felt his heartbeat begin to slow, his world feeling tipsy. A long slender finger pointed at an Orange Caramel song.

“I like it! Jonghyun sing _Magic Girl_!”

Kibum snickered as he pulled back, staring at Jonghyun with a pleased grin.  “Hyung, really?” Jonghyun asked incredulously.

“Yeah, do it!” Jinki said enthusiastically. He clapped his hands together in anticipation and Jonghyun sighed. Anything to make Jinki smile, he supposed. He selected the song chosen for him by Kibum and grimaced when the first few playful notes came out of the speakers.

Jinki whooped with laughter as Jonghyun robotically sang the first few lines. With his back turned to the group, he didn’t notice Kibum slide over to Jinki’s side and whisper into his ear. The cheering began to cease but Jonghyun had started to get into the song, dancing along to the chorus as best as he could – he was nowhere near as concise as Kibum was but he didn’t do a bad job.

When he spun around to sing to his friend he nearly stopped when he saw Kibum in his spot, hand on Jinki’s knee and mouth hidden behind his ear. Jinki seemed to be conflicted between paying attention to Jonghyun and listening to what Kibum was whispering into his ear.

As the song began to finish, Jonghyun was in an even fouler mood than before. He threw the microphone into Jinki’s lap and slumped onto the sofa, in Kibum’s original seat.

“Jonghyun, are you okay?” Jinki asked, bewildered.

“Sure, I’m fine.”

“… You don’t look fine,” Jinki mused. “Are you not feeling well?”

 _No, I’m not feeling well, hyung. But I can’t tell you why that is_. “I feel fine. Just go and sing whatever you want.”

“You did well, Jonghyun,” Kibum offered with a genuine smile. “You have a really nice voice.”

Jonghyun sneered at the other man and slumped further in his seat when Kibum picked a nice soft ballad for Jinki to sing. Talk about favouritism. Jinki shot Jonghyun a concerned glance as he took the spotlight and began to sing. His voice was like dripping honey, velvety smooth and soft with just the right amount of sensual edge to draw you in closer. Jonghyun loved Jinki’s singing voice more than anything in the world and he was a little annoyed that this moment was being spoilt by Kibum’s presence.

He felt a pair of eyes bore into him and he glanced over to Kibum. The brunet was staring him down with a strange look in his eye, similar to how a lioness would stalk her prey before the kill. It wasn’t until he looked over at Jinki he understood why. Jinki had been staring at him the entire time he’d been singing, and not in the worried kind of way either. No, the look in Jinki’s eyes was desire, almost longing. When their eyes met, Jinki immediately averted his and in turn stared at Kibum, trying to emulate the same kind of want.

It left a strange feeling in the pit of Jonghyun’s stomach and he chose to ignore as best as he could, tonight was helping Jinki get with Kibum, and nothing else.

* * *

The night ended well and the three stumbled out of the room, having had their own share of alcohol. Jonghyun tripped over the first step and clung to the railing to stop himself from falling down the flight of stairs.

“Jonghyun, are you okay?” Jinki shouted over. He hand his arm around Kibum’s shoulders and in return Kibum had an arm slung around his waist.

“Super!” He called back and he began to stumble down the stairs, trying his hardest not to trip again.

“He’s like you, hyung,” Kibum laughed. “Clumsy!”

“Hey, I’m not that bad.”

“Oh sure, remember that time you were asked to fix the lighting because Eric was off sick and you knocked all of them over at once? Seventeen lights came crashing down.”

“Two of them shattered,” Jinki remembered.

“Two of them shattered!” Kibum laughed. “It was so funny!”

“You weren’t hurt were you, hyung?” Jonghyun asked when he reached the bottom of the staircase.

“Just my ego,” Jinki replied with a drunken grin. “Are you off home now, Jonghyun?” He asked when they stepped out of the karaoke bar.

“Um, I was thinking about it,” Jonghyun replied honestly. The cold winter air sobered him up considerably. “Why?”

“Let’s go eat!” Kibum suggested, pumping his arm in the air. “Let’s go eat!”

“Yeah!” Jinki agreed.

“You two go on without me,” Jonghyun declined. “I’m going to go home and rest.”

Jinki’s smile dropped and a disappointed look flashed over his eyes. “If you’re sure…”

“Have fun, hyung. Don’t drink anymore.” He patted Jinki’s shoulder, only just realising that he was wearing Jonghyun’s padded coat. He then made his way back to the train station, biting on his lower lip to stop himself from crying. _What the hell are you doing? You’re pushing the man you love into someone else’s arms!_

 _Maybe,_ Jonghyun thought as he looked up to the sky as he walked home, _that was for the better._

He would never be enough for Jinki anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry my updates have been inconsistent but i recently started a new job and my course is coming to a close and the last two assignments are the most important and fundamental to doing well. it takes a lot of time to edit these chapters so both this story and Replay will be updated on a biweekly status unless i have some spare time (which is doubtful)
> 
> ANYWAY!  
> Outfit references for this chapter:  
> kibum's outfit: https://78.media.tumblr.com/ed8d27719bff3747a2b1b8ecc9ed8809/tumblr_omtg4ps8Hl1tnw0p5o2_400.png  
> jonghyun's outfit: https://78.media.tumblr.com/a4d7b798c18dcbb34d1f08b6650fb9e7/tumblr_ogdyuf0yMZ1u22rjso1_1280.jpg
> 
> also, if you guys enjoyed this chapter, please let me know. hearing what you guys have to say and what you think about my work is honestly the highlight of my very gloomy and busy week <3 thank you to you all for reading regardless <3333


	4. Chapter 4

The holidays came and went with ease. Jonghyun spent his Christmas sulking on his sofa eating reheated pizza and drinking beer whilst he flickered between channels on his second-hand TV. He ended up keeping on the international movie channel for the remainder of the day, watching cheesy 80’s flicks back to back until his mind went numb. He received no word from Jinki over the holiday but Jonghyun imagined he was spending the day with Kibum.

His New Years was also just as uneventful, except having spent the past five days in his house, ordering take-out, he decided to venture out and visit his mother. He had only intended for a short stay but wound up staying for a home-cooked meal, something he was incredibly grateful for.

Over the course of the two weeks, Jonghyun received multiple updates from Minho about his trip to France. They were staying in the south, a small seaside town named Marseille, and from the looks of it the weather seemed to be cold (Minho and Irene were wrapped up warmly in fashionable coats and Irene was sporting a felted beret) but it didn’t look to be as snowy as Seoul currently was.

However, it seemed his wife had an ulterior motive to staying in France over the winter season, and it was to announce the fact that she and Minho were going to be parents. Minho had explained that he wanted to tell Jonghyun as soon as he knew but Irene had asked him to keep it a secret until after New Year’s, so they could tell her parents first.

“What about your family?” Jonghyun had asked during a short phone call. He was sat in his study looking out into the night sky, watching as snow once again began to fall. The moon was pale, and dim but solitude in the sky.

“We’re going to tell them when we come back,” Minho explained.

“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to know I knew before them,” Jonghyun joked.

“It doesn’t really matter who finds out first,” Minho said. “As long as we announce it to them in person rather than, say, over the phone.”

“Alright, I hear you. I’m not as special to you,” Jonghyun teased. He heard Minho chuckle softly on the other end.

“Of course you’re special, hyung; I’ve known you for years… I just wanted you to know as soon as we told Irene’s parents. Anyway, I best go, we’re going for a walk along the dockland and Irene wants to go shopping.”

And that had been the end of that. Every day Jonghyun received a text message and an accompanying photograph of Minho and Irene, to the point where it felt like they were blatantly mocking him for being single. Though, he knew Minho would never be like that, he was too kind hearted to even think of such a thing – he just wanted Jonghyun to feel like a part of their family despite their current distance.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have long to dwell on Minho’s family photos as a bigger problem dawned over the horizon. With the end of the holidays came the restart of Blue Night and the inevitability of seeing Jinki again. However, it seemed like luck was on his side as Jinki was nowhere to be seen when Jonghyun arrived in the evening.

He made a beeline for the staffroom and jumped when he saw an unfamiliar figure sitting on the old leather sofa. A skinny boy with curly black hair and cute, rounded features was running through his phone and taking sips of water from a metal flask.

 _Ah_ , Jonghyun realised, _this must be Taemin_.

The idol looked up as soon as Jonghyun entered the room completely and smiled politely. “Hello,” he said.

Jonghyun was taken aback by his floaty voice, it sounded youthful and jovial and nothing like the growling, almost animalistic singing he’d heard in the past. “Hi there,” Jonghyun replied, reaching into the mini fridge and grabbing himself a bottle of water. “Are you excited?”

Taemin immediately shook his head. “Nervous more like.”

Jonghyun chuckled and took a sip of his water before shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be. It’ll go flawlessly. I’m a good radio host.”

“I know,” Taemin said, looking up at the DJ through black coated lashes. He was aware that Taemin was revered for his good looks, but he was slightly taken aback by Taemin’s pretty face. “I listen to your show when I have late schedules. Your voice is very soothing.”

“Well, thank you.” He felt a little embarrassed, knowing that someone famous actually enjoyed his little radio show.

“It’s not the whole radio thing that’s bothering me… it’s being recorded.”

Jonghyun stopped. “What do you mean it’s being recorded?”

Taemin blinked nervously. “You didn’t know?”

Jonghyun paled and he began to feel faint. He was content with being on the radio, only having his voice present to the masses but having his face showcased like he himself was some kind of idol felt intrusive. “No… I didn’t.” He knew having Taemin on his show was a big deal but he hadn’t thought it would be worth making a live recording.

The door to the staff room opened again and Jinki bounded in with a big smile on his face. Jonghyun’s heart began to beat a million miles per hour when that smile came directed at him. The elder then noticed Taemin sat on the sofa and he bowed politely before turning back to Jonghyun. “Whoa, you don’t look so good,” he commented. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m fine, hyung,” Jonghyun muttered. Without warning, Jinki pressed a palm against Jonghyun’s forehead.

“You don’t have a fever,” Jinki said.

“I said, I’m fine,” Jonghyun repeated, swatting Jinki’s hand away. “I’m just a little nervous because this show is being recorded.”

“Ah, you found out. I thought it would be best if you didn’t know… I know you’re camera shy.”

Jonghyun tried to hide a bashful smile, he was still a little annoyed with his hyung for hiding vital information but the fact that Jinki remembered something he had been told in confidence so long ago made Jonghyun feel like he was on cloud nine.

“I’ll just try to ignore it, I guess,” Jonghyun said.

“You’ll do fine, you’re the best. Anyway, I was curious if you were free this weekend.”

“I am, why?”

“Well, I missed our karaoke session over the holidays so I thought we should try and go back as soon as possible.”

Jonghyun smiled brightly. “That sounds really good.”

“Awesome, I’ll ask Kibum if he wants to come too.”

“Ah, yeah,” Jonghyun mumbled. It seemed like things were going well. “Are things going well then?” He prompted.

Jinki nodded slowly. “We’re taking it slow because he’s so busy but he’s really fun to be around. We spent Christmas with my parents because his live in Daegu and I didn’t want him to be alone.”

Jonghyun could feel a tidal wave surge in his stomach, in all his years of knowing Jinki, he’d never once met his parents. What the hell was so special about Kibum anyway? “It sounds like it’s getting serious.”

And there it was, a flash of panic that darted across Jinki’s face, the only source of hope on Jonghyun’s behalf. “Y-yeah, I guess so…” Jinki seemed a little pale. “I… I better go, I think I hear Seulgi calling me.” He immediately darted out of the staffroom, not bothering to bow to Taemin as he left.

“Wow…” Taemin whistled from the side lines. “You have it bad.”

“What are you talking about?” Jonghyun joked, trying to fake a laugh or two.

Taemin quirked an eyebrow. “I may be young, but I’m not stupid. You like him.”

“No, I think you’re mistaken.”

“It’s okay if you do,” Taemin said, standing up from the sofa. He pocketed his mobile phone and began to saunter over to Jonghyun. Jonghyun began to back up until he hit the wall and Taemin was inches away from his face. “There’s nothing wrong with men liking one another.”

“But I-“

“Shush,” Taemin whispered, pressing a long finger against Jonghyun’s pouty lips. “I can help you.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel sorry for you. Use me to make him jealous.”

Jonghyun scoffed. “That won’t work.”

“Hmm,” Taemin hummed. “I wouldn’t be so sure… _But_ , if you want to be lonely for the rest of your life…” The idol immediately backed off.

“I don’t!”

Taemin smiled back at him. “Excellent, here’s what you do…”

* * *

So far things had been running smoothly. Taemin was as flirtatious as he had been rumoured to be and Jonghyun had been receptive, but not to the point where it seemed suggestive or obvious. Every now and again the DJ would take a glance towards the sound booth where Jinki sat and his friend would either be staring between the two with an unrecognisable look in his eyes or was avoiding looking at them completely.

“How about we take a few calls from your fans,” Jonghyun offered after he played another one of Taemin’s songs from his album. That one had been called _Play Me_ and had led to Taemin giving him a few playful dance moves that in retrospect would definitely look like flirting if one knew Taemin’s true intentions.

“That sounds wonderful,” Taemin said into the mic, adjusting his hat to smile into the camera. He was a natural in front of the lens, which made sense given his profession but for Jonghyun this whole scenario was a well-articulated plan of torture. “I’d love to hear what my fans have to say.”

Jonghyun swallowed when Taemin rubbed at his calf with the inner part of his left foot, slowly. It crawled upwards, and a hot feeling creeped over Jonghyun’s skin. This was not part of the plan at all. “Right,” he said, trying to maintain composure. He was sure he was failing at it from the winning grin on Taemin’s beautiful face. “Here’s a message from a fan called Key-ssi. Ah, Key-ssi, I remember you,” Jonghyun said with a fond smile. “I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.”

“Key-ssi, that’s unusual,” Taemin added, leaning across to Jonghyun. Jonghyun tried to pay no attention, he’d been used to this kind of thing from women but when it came from a man, and a very attractive man at that, it lead Jonghyun’s mind astray very differently ( _think of Jinki-hyung, think of Jinki-hyung,_ he chanted internally). Then again, it was easy to ignore women’s advances when you had no interest in them at all. “What does Key-ssi have to say?”

“Hello DJ Jonghyun and Taemin-ssi. I’m very sorry for my outburst on your radio show before Christmas – Ah, don’t worry about it, Key-ssi – and I would like to ask Taemin how he prepared for his debut.”

Taemin licked his lips. “Well, I joined SM when I was only 16 and trained constantly. I was already a pretty well-known dancer at the company, and I was due to debut with another group until the idea went under… I was left in an awkward position and I was offered two options, either I train my voice and debut as a soloist or I leave and return to the normal world.”

Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something before snapping it shut. Surely he wasn’t the only one who noticed that Taemin had completely avoided the question. “Well, I’m glad you debuted as a soloist, it’d be a shame to let your talent die.” Taemin’s foot creeped up higher and Jonghyun almost lost his self-restraint.  “But, I think Key-ssi was asking more about the process of your debut, like the choice of songs and your dances.”

“Well, I wanted to do an edgy theme for my debut, you know to counteract my cute face.” To make his point, Taemin winked at the camera and smiled brightly. “So I picked a few songs that sounded sensual and dangerous and then I had helped with choreographing the dances.”

Jonghyun nodded along as Taemin spoke, trying to ignore the fact that Taemin’s foot now pressed up against his inner thigh, so very dangerously close to his crotch.

“Speaking of your sensual songs, perhaps we shall play your title song. Aptly named _Danger_ , this song has been in the charts for 20 weeks since its release. Please enjoy.”

Jonghyun leant back, groaning when he felt Taemin’s foot nudge him gently. He looked across the table to Taemin, who hid his mouth behind his hand.

“I want you,” he whispered to Jonghyun before dragging his teeth along his lower lip for extra exaggeration. Jonghyun simply offered a weak smile and tried his hardest to fight his racing heartbeat. What on Earth was happening now? Was he being pranked? Was this a game to Taemin?

The show continued smoothly, thankfully, and after Taemin’s unspoken confession, he’d remained well-behaved. He kept all hands and feet to himself and only offered Jonghyun a few suggestive side glances that made Jonghyun feel like he was stuck in a never ending x-ray. However, Jonghyun himself found that his eyes continuously wandering over to Jinki, who was staring at the video broadcast with knitted brows, whether from irritation or focus, Jonghyun could not tell.

“As we come to a close, let’s thank Taemin for taking time out of his busy schedule to join me here today.” Finally, Jonghyun lamented. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take Taemin’s incessant flirting.

“Thank you for having me, Jonghyun-hyung.”

Jonghyun grinned at Taemin and then turned back to the microphone. “Thank you again for joining us tonight. As I close today’s show, shall we listen to one last song by Taemin? This one is titled _Ace_ and was written for him by a close friend and label mate, Changmin. I hope you all will join me tomorrow under this blue night. This has been Jonghyun, thank you, and goodnight.”

As the first few notes of _Ace_ began to play Jonghyun dropped his head into his hands and sighed. He heard Taemin pull himself away from the desk and walk over to him. “Follow me,” he simply said before leaving the studio completely, the cameras still rolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> please comment if you enjoyed this chapter! we have the return of flirty taemin and are now halfway through the story <3


	5. Chapter 5

Taemin’s instructions had been as clear as day, so why the hell was Jonghyun so confused when he ended up being pressed against the wall of the men’s bathroom, Taemin’s lips hovering inches from his own. Those dark brown eyes that just played the innocent card on video not mere minutes ago were now heavy lidded and wanting.

“T-Taemin,” Jonghyun whispered, swallowing thickly.

“Shush, just let this happen,” the idol said, tilting his head to the side. Jonghyun watched with wide eyes as he moved closer. And then, the door swung open and Jonghyun thanked the Lord above for all of two seconds before realising who had just caught them. Jinki stared at them, blinking erratically, mouth agape for a few seconds.

“Do you mind?” Taemin huffed, irritably.

Jinki looked like a deer in headlights. “Oh, I’m so… sorry… I’ll just…”

“Hyung!” Jonghyun called as Jinki left the bathroom, looking disorientated. “Hyung, wait! Taemin, what the hell?”

Taemin just shrugged his shoulders. “Go to him, Jonghyun-hyung.”

Jonghyun stared the young idol for a few seconds before following Taemin’s suggestion and leaving the bathroom. He followed Jinki to the staffroom where he was throwing his coat on. “Hyung, that wasn’t what it looked like.”

“I don’t care,” Jinki said, staring Jonghyun directly in the face. “I don’t care what you do in your spare time, Jonghyun.”

“Hyung, I-“

“God, this is crazy. I have a boyfriend,” Jinki mumbled under his breath. “That’s right, I have a boyfriend. I’m going to see Kibum. I’ll see you later, Jonghyun.” Jinki brushed past the DJ without another word and Jonghyun heard the staffroom door open and slam shut behind him. Jonghyun fell to his knees; he never should have listened to Taemin’s advice in the first place. All he had managed to achieve was pushing Jinki further into Kibum’s arms.

* * *

“Oppa, are you okay?” A voice asked from behind Jonghyun. He turned to see Yeri staring at him worriedly. He nodded slowly as she took a seat beside him. In an effort to better himself as a writer, Jonghyun had signed up to creative writing classes at the local college. He was one of the oldest students, at 25, but had somehow managed to befriend young Yeri who was only breaching twenty.

“Yeah, I’m just… tried,” Jonghyun explained. Tired and heartbroken, and just all around depressed.

Yeri didn’t seem to believe him at first. “Is there something bothering you?”

Jonghyun just shook his head; he didn’t want to rope his new friend into his complicated love life, especially given how unconventional it is. “I’m just thinking about work, that’s all.”

“Oh! I saw your show last night with Taemin. He’s… strange,” Yeri said, scrunching up her nose. “He’s a lot flirtier than I read in interviews.”

“He was just nervous,” Jonghyun reasoned. Yeri nodded but didn’t seem convinced. Damn, she’s a perceptive kid. “Say, Yeri, if you had a friend you liked, and have liked for a long time, and then suddenly that friend was dating someone else, what would you do?”

Yeri, who had begun to rummage through her pencil case, immediately stopped what she was doing and looked at Jonghyun with an open mouth. “Oppa! Is there someone you like?!”

“Yeri! Keep it down!”

“Oppa!” Yeri slapped at Jonghyun’s arm excitedly. “Is it someone here?”

“No, no, it’s a hypothetical question.”

Yeri bit at her lip. “Mmm, I don’t believe you but I won’t pry. Your private life is private.” Jonghyun sighed in relief; she was such a good kid, even if she was annoyingly smart. “Um, if the person I liked suddenly started dating someone else I guess I would be supportive. Like, I can’t change how they feel about that other person, even if it hurts me in the long run. Telling them could end up hurting more than just one person and being overly jealous and clingy will just push your friend away.”

“Right, but then say you, I don’t know, listened to some stupid person’s advice and tried to make your friend jealous and it worked to the point where you pushed your friend even further away.”

Yeri paused. “Oppa… is that what Taemin was doing with you?”

“Yeri, stop asking silly questions.”

“Hmm, if I did that - and I just want to say I would never be so cruel - if I did that then I’d probably just come clean about the situation and apologise.”

Jonghyun stared at Yeri for a long time. “Yeri, you’re a genius.”

The blonde huffed. “If I’m so smart, why am I failing chemistry?” she mumbled.

* * *

The moment Jonghyun entered the studio to get ready for his next show, Seulgi called an emergency meeting in an empty boardroom. Jinki and Joy were already sat inside, having arrived before everyone else and only a few others remained missing as they were expected to turn up later.

Jonghyun took his seat at the opposite end of the table, next to Jinki, who ignored his presence. With a playful smile, Jonghyun tried to poke at his friend but Jinki continued to pretend that his existence was no longer relevant to him. The DJ pouted and leaned back in his seat, he really fucked up with Jinki.

“The ratings from yesterday were incredible!” Seulgi said, pulling up the statistics on her laptop and swivelling it around to the group as soon as the others had entered. “And the comments were really positive for the most part!”

“I bet most of them were just Taemin’s fans,” Joy said, leaning back in her chair. Seulgi looked at her assistant and smirked, tapping her nose.

“Surprisingly, most of the comments were about our beloved DJ.” Jonghyun sat up, a cold chill racing down his spine. “A lot of our fans can’t quite believe how handsome you are, Jonghyun. They’re asking for more video broadcasts.”

“What? Of Jonghyun alone?” Jinki asked. Hearing Jinki say his name with zero familiarity left a sharp stab in Jonghyun’s chest.

“Yes! Here’s one comment: ‘ _DJ Jonghyun is so handsome, his hair is like moonlight_!’. And another: ‘ _DJ Jonghyun’s smile is something else, he’s so beautiful. I’m in love!_ ’.”

“Okay, but what about the negative comments?” Jonghyun asked, eyes flickering over Jinki’s profile.

Seulgi’s face turned. “Ah, most of them were about when you read Key’s comment. A lot of them were very derogatory and downright disgusting so I banned some of the worst of it.”

“A lot of them seemed to focus on Key’s phone call,” Joy explained. “Specifically when he mentioned having a boyfriend.”

“I can’t believe people are just like that,” Jinki said, shaking his head. Jonghyun kept his low, thankful that Seulgi hadn’t read any of those comments out loud. Even if they were about another person, they would still run deep in his heart.

“Speaking of Key,” Seulgi butted in, her tone cold. “Jonghyun, I remember specifically not wanting him to appear on my show anymore!”

Jonghyun held his hands up. “Hey, he apologised, I thought you might appreciate it.”

Seulgi pursed her lips. “I won’t lie, I was a little happy to hear him apologising… but still… he might bring the ratings down.”

“I think he’s interesting,” Joy said. She had stolen Seulgi’s laptop during the discussion and had begun rummaging through the comments. “Plus, despite the negativity, a lot of people thought Jonghyun and Key’s chemistry was pretty cool.”

“What chemistry?” Jinki scoffed. “They spoke to each other once and then Key sent in a written message.”

“Girls will see what they want to see,” Joy refuted. “Don’t question us. Besides, a lot of people thought Jonghyun’s smile when he read out Key’s message was cute.”

Jonghyun covered his incriminating mouth with his hand and lowered himself in his seat. He completely missed Jinki turning to look at him for a brief second with sad eyes.

“Why don’t we chalk this up to a drunken mistake and let him call regularly. We could make him a segment!” Joy suggested.

Seulgi shook her head and took her laptop back. “A segment of what? Questions with Key? He’s not even a part of the show, he’s just a caller. I won’t screen his calls and I’ll let Jonghyun decide.”

All eyes turned to the DJ at the other end of the table and Jonghyun felt as if he were stuck on stage, pants around his ankles and the whole world laughing at his dick. “I… I don’t mind. I liked his drunken call.”

Seulgi clapped her hands, but her face seemed to betray her posture. Her brows were straight and mouth downturned. “Well, it’s decided. We’ll allow Key to call as often as he wishes to, no screening.”

“You changed your mind awfully quick, PD,” Jinki pointed out, voice absent of his usual playful nature.

Seulgi flipped her long hair over her shoulders and grinned. “What can I say? The viewers weren’t the only one to catch that smile.” She gave Jonghyun a wink. “We have one hour left until show time so let’s get ready!”

Everyone stood to leave the boardroom and Jonghyun immediately pounced on Jinki, grasping onto his t-shirt and pulling him aside. Jinki stared at his friend with surprised, wide eyes. “What’s going on with you, Jinki?” Jonghyun asked.

Jinki continued to stare at Jonghyun for a long second before averting his gaze. “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood to talk to you right now.”

“Why? Because I was kissing Taemin the bathroom?” Jonghyun hissed, lowering his voice. “Why does that bother you so much? You have Kibum!”

“It doesn’t bother me!” Jinki shouted, pushing himself away from Jonghyun’s grip forcefully. “It really doesn’t. It… I don’t know I guess I felt betrayed that you didn’t tell me you _were_ actually into guys.”

“Hyung, are you serious?”

“Of course I am,” Jinki said, looking back at Jonghyun. His eyes told a completely different story. They seemed sad and lost. “I was only teasing you before… I never assumed… I’m sorry…”

Jonghyun scratched his head. “It’s okay,” Jonghyun accepted with an easy but nervous smile. “And I’m sorry I kept it a secret… Not that I don’t trust you… I was sure I must’ve told you at some point. Maybe I just felt so comfortable with you I thought you could read my mind.”

Jinki laughed lightly. “I wish I could sometimes.”

The sentence hung between them for a long time, the two men standing in the empty boardroom, tension thick around them. Jinki’s eyes flickered from Jonghyun’s gaze to his pouty lips and then back again. Absent-mindedly, he ran his tongue over his bottom lip before averting his gaze once more. “I wish you could too, hyung,” Jonghyun muttered.

“It’d be easier if you just talked to me.”

Jonghyun laughed. “Alright, I’ll start. I’m currently taking creative classes at my local college to better my writing.”

Jinki grinned. “Are you serious? That’s so cool, Jonghyun! Ah, look out world, best-selling author in the making.”

“Hyung, don’t be silly.”

Jinki just laughed airily. “I’ll be honest with you too. Kibum… doesn’t want you to come with us to karaoke this weekend.”

“Wh-what?”

“I know, I said to him, ‘Kibum, either Jonghyun comes or we don’t go at all’ and he got into a massive tantrum.” Jinki cut himself off abruptly, clearly hiding something else that happened during the argument that he didn’t want Jonghyun to know.

“Don’t worry about it, hyung, don’t let me ruin your relationship,” Jonghyun said sadly. “I need to go now and read of Seulgi’s schedule.”

As he walked past he felt fingers brush of his wrist and he looked back up to see Jinki staring at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen. A sense of confusion washed over Jonghyun and before he could really tell what he was doing he was pushing Jinki up against the wall, kissing him as if it was the last thing he could do.

As his conscience began to pick up, Jonghyun realised how stupid he was being and made a move to pull away. However, Jinki’s hands came up and played with Jonghyun’s bleached strands, stroking the split ends and damage and massaging his scalp as he kissed back. Jonghyun’s entire world tipped over completely and his legs began to feel weak, only Jinki’s strength was holding them up at this point. Shaking, Jonghyun placed his hands on Jinki’s slight waist and rubbed circles into his sweater with his thumbs.

And then like a chorus of angels, Jinki sighed into the kiss when Jonghyun ran his tongue over his lips. They parted willingly and Jinki gasped as Jonghyun began to toy with his senses. But it wasn’t meant to last as Jinki’s ringtone pulled the two men apart. They were both breathless and frazzled.

Jinki looked at his phone and then up at Jonghyun guiltily. He answered it with a small smile. “Hey, babe.”

Jonghyun’s world didn’t right itself for a long time, not even as he wobbled over to his desk and readied himself to go live. How on Earth was he going to get the feeling of Jinki’s lips against his out of his mind? He made his feelings very clear and he was certain Jinki had made his known from the way he was receptive to the kiss and every little touch. The ball was in Jinki’s court now as far as Jonghyun was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm!!! the plot thickens! only three chapters remain, what will happen!?
> 
> follow me at:  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> ^^


	6. Chapter 6

The broadcast continued to run on and Jonghyun could feel himself start to lose focus. His words became distracted, trailing off midway through sentences and stories, and even forgetting some of the titles of the music he played. Seulgi watched him, eagle-eyed, from the sound booth, gripping her beloved clipboard so tightly she threatened to break it.

“What is he doing?” Seulgi hissed. “Jinki, what’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know, PD,” Jinki lied, averting his eyes from Jonghyun. “I think he needs some cheering up. Do we have any callers waiting?”

“We have one, it’s from Taemin,” Yunho said.

“Taemin? As in the idol? Why is he calling?” Jinki asked, trying to hold back the jealousy that bubbled in his stomach. “Never mind… just patch it through.”

The red light on Jonghyun’s sound board drew his attention away from the window – it had begun to snow again. “Oh, it seems we have a mystery caller,” he said into the mic, his tone a little more chipper than before. “Hello, this is Blue Night, you are on the air.”

“Jonghyun-hyung?” Taemin’s voice crackled through and Jonghyun immediately felt his face grow hot.

“H-hello, Taemin-ah! What a surprise!”

“Ah, I missed you, hyung, I thought I’d give you a call since I’m free from any commitments right now,” Taemin said, his voice sounded hazy and tired, as if he had just woken up. “You don’t sound like yourself tonight, hyung.”

“Oh, don’t I?” Jonghyun asked, forcing a chuckle under his breath. “I’m sorry, I’ve been thinking about something.”

“Or someone, perhaps?” Taemin asked, hopefully.

Seulgi watched as the number of listeners began to rise dramatically with Taemin’s impromptu phone call. She sighed heavily and pressed her hand to her forehead, saving her head from any oncoming aches and pains.

“Aha, Taemin-ah, what are you talking about?” Jonghyun joked, but his tone gave him away.

“Ah, hyung, do you miss me? I make such an impression on people.”

Jonghyun smiled. “Taemin-ah, if you’re not careful people may start questioning things.”

Taemin laughed deeply and Jonghyun felt his heart flip in his throat. Over the phone, Taemin’s laugh sounded eerily similar to Jinki’s, which lead to his mind tracking back to the kiss they had shared not too long ago and Jonghyun was back in dreamland. “You’re right, hyung. I just wanted to request a song from my favourite radio station, if that’s okay?”

“Your favourite radio show, huh?” Jonghyun teased. “I suppose I can do that for you.”

“Ah, thank you. I’m currently in my manager’s car on the way home so could you play Taeyeon’s _I Got Love_ , please?”

“Of course, Taemin-ah. Have a good night.”

“You too, hyung. See you soon, hopefully.” The idol hung up immediately and Seulgi watched as the numbers remained stagnant on her screen. She prayed that they wouldn’t drop now that Taemin had left.

“Well, for Taemin-ah, we shall play his request. Here is Taeyeon’s _I Got Love_ , a sultry love song, perfect for this evening.” Jonghyun played the song and sat back, sighing deeply. He tried his best to ignore the suggestive lyrics and the implication of what they meant from Taemin’s point of view.

 _Need you closer, need you closer_ … Taeyeon sang into his ears. Jonghyun liked Taeyeon’s music and actively followed her promotions as much as he could, but right now she felt like a bane to his existence.

He allowed himself to close his eyes and just enjoy the music, forgetting about Taemin. However, it didn’t seem to be as he soon began picturing Jinki’s plush lips forming along with Taeyeon’s words and Jonghyun felt warmth wash over him comfortingly.

* * *

After a few more songs, Jonghyun returned to taking calls.

“Hello, this is Blue Night; you’re live on the air.”

“Hello, DJ, Jonghyun. My name is Key,” the voice said, a frosty edge to his voice.

Jonghyun immediately felt the need to cower away from the icy tone but remained as professional as he could. “Key-ssi, it’s been a while!”

“It has. I want to apologise to everyone once more for my outburst on your last show.”

Jonghyun laughed awkwardly. “Don’t worry about Key-ssi, I hope everything is working out well for you now?”

“Actually, it is. I was hoping for some advice from you DJ Jonghyun.”

He ignored that little feeling in the back of his mind warning him that this disembodied and angry voice sounded familiar. All voices sounded familiar when it was through a phone call on a radio station. “Well, I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. I’ve started dating someone new after my break-up and things have been going pretty well lately.”

“Well, that’s good to hear!”

“I haven’t finished yet, DJ Jonghyun,” Key reprimanded. “I say things have been going well lately but I can’t help but feel like this person is being purposefully distant. Say, what would you do if the person you’re dating was in love with someone else?”

Jonghyun choked on air and grabbed his bottle of water to regain composure. “S-sorry, you took me by surprise there.”

A cruel chuckle came through. “I’m not surprised.”

“Well, if I were in that situation I suppose I would confront them first and if they deny how they feel, then try to reason with them about your own feelings. You’re dating this person and you deserve to have the attention on you. However, if they choose to admit how they feel, the best thing for you is to break-up with them before you get too attached.”

“You seem familiar with this type of scenario,” Key baited.

“No, no. I’m just using common sense,” Jonghyun laughed. “I hope that’s helped somewhat.”

“Considerably, DJ Jonghyun,” Key replied. “I have to get back to work now. Have a good night.”

“You too, Key-ssi! Take care!” There was a soft, audible click and Jonghyun visibly relaxed. He’d liked Key before, with his quirky attitude, but for some reason he sounded defensive, as if he’d done something to offend him. “Well, as I said earlier in the show, if you have any queries I’d be more than happy to offer my insight! Shall we play another song? How about _Ace_ by Taemin? That song’s grown on me quite a bit. I like to play this song when I’m at home studying or writing. If you are struggling to focus on something important, give this song a listen to.”

* * *

Jonghyun had hoped that after the show, he’d get a chance to confront Jinki, but the engineer slipped away whilst Seulgi had him preoccupied.

She had cornered him the moment the show was finished, the red _ON AIR_ light above the door dimming.

“You are trying to send me to an early grave,” she said.

“I’m not, I swear, Seulgi. I was just thinking about something. I’ll be better.”

Seulgi sighed for a moment and tapped her foot impatiently. She then smiled gently. “I know you will, because you are the star of my show. Tomorrow I shall arrange a live video broadcast for you so you best be on your a-game.”

“Who’s the guest?” Jonghyun asked.

“No one, it’ll just be you,” Seulgi said before turning to Joy to whisper some arrangements that she quickly jotted down. “Don’t look so panicky. You’ll do fine, especially not with Taemin here to distract you.” She smiled encouragingly. “You had an off day today, I can accept that. Don’t worry about it too much and think of the time ahead. You are a super star, Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun nodded along with Seulgi’s pep talk. Her smile brightened when he gave her a weak thumbs-up as a sign of agreement. He’d been working for her for nearly over two years and he still didn’t quite understand her personality. She was as soft as a teddy bear… until her patience wore thin and then she became a real, true to life, bear. Jonghyun liked her, as a PD and a person, but he often wondered if the smiles she put on were actually how she felt.

As the remaining crew left, the lights to the studio turned off, plunging the space into darkness. Jonghyun kept a look out for Jinki, especially in the staffroom but it was to no avail. He didn’t think about the consequences of his actions until he reached into his pocket and switched his phone on.

When he regained signal, just as he was leaving the building all wrapped up, a text message from Jinki popped through.

“ _I’m sorry. Don’t hate me._ ”

Snow began to fall around him delicately as he stared at that screen, at those incriminating words. His heart felt frozen, locked in a vice grip that only kept tightening. He thought for sure, from the way Jinki reacted to the kiss, they would stop lying to each other but he figured that normalcy Jinki had with Kibum was better than any life Jonghyun could give him. He was always busy and didn’t have much of a social life. Kibum was better looking, anyway.

* * *

Jonghyun didn’t think much about Key’s call until the next day. As he was getting ready for class, shoving his textbooks and selected reading into his messenger bag, a knock came at his door. He wasn’t really expecting any visitors this early in the morning, so his surprise when Kibum stood at his door wasn’t well concealed.

“Kibum, what are you doing here?” _And why aren’t you with Jinki_?

“I want to talk to you – quickly – if that’s okay?” He seemed troubled.

“Um, sure,” Jonghyun replied, opening his door a little wider and letting the taller man through. “What can I do for you?”

“I just want to know something… Do you have feelings for Jinki?”

Jonghyun hissed audibly, watching Kibum’s serious face crumble so slightly. Then he let out an awkward laugh. “Are you joking? He’s such a dork and he’s a man, why would I have feelings for him?” He hoped, deep down, that Jinki hadn’t told him about the kiss they shared the previous night.

Kibum relaxed, shoulders sagging. “Oh, good. I’ll admit, I was a bit worried from the way you two flirted when we went to karaoke a couple of weeks ago, but apparently you’re just like that. That’s what Jinki said at least.” He then eyed the messenger bag strapped around Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I have morning classes at the nearby college.”

“Oh! Let me take you, I drove here,” Kibum offered, smiling politely.

“You don’t need to do that,” Jonghyun declined. “I like walking.”

“Well, it’s on the way to the theatre anyway. Let me take you, I want to get to know you better.”

Jonghyun really couldn’t find it in his heart to decline completely and instead allowed himself to get pulled out of his apartment by Jinki’s boyfriend.

The car ride was awkward to say the least. They managed to catch two red lights and what would’ve taken Jonghyun a half an hour walk was already taking twenty minutes by car. “Sorry, I guess I thought traffic would better around here,” Kibum said, offering his passenger an apologetic smile. “So, let me get this right, you’re the Jonghyun from Blue Night, aren’t you?”

Jonghyun glanced over to Kibum. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Ah, I love that show! I guess that’s how you and Jinki met then.”

“It is…”

Kibum sighed wistfully. “You’re such a good DJ too.”

“Oh, thank you.” Jonghyun felt a little embarrassed to be complimented in such a tight space. He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. He wasn’t a fan of cars to begin with and Kibum’s was so much smaller than what he was used to. “You’re an actor, right?”

“That’s right,” Kibum affirmed, nodding his head. “I’m currently starring in the new _Bonnie and Clyde_ musical that’s opening next weekend. Are you and Jinki going to come cheer me on?”

“W-well…”

“Well, I know Jinki will,” Kibum said with a mysterious glint in his eye. “It’d be cool to see you there. Maybe you could review it for your show – Oh! Please don’t think I’m trying to use you or anything for publicity.”

“I wasn’t thinking that at all.” _But, I am now_.

Kibum laughed cheerily and pulled up outside Jonghyun’s college. “Here we are. Have a good day. Are you coming to karaoke on Saturday?”

“Oh, I was told…”

“Told what?” Kibum blinked innocently.

“Um, never mind… Yeah, I’ll come if you want me to.”

Kibum clapped his hands. “Awesome! See you then! Take care!” He said as Jonghyun climbed out and offered the driver a small wave before closing the door. He watched Kibum’s sports car zoom off and he released the breath he didn’t notice he’d been holding. Kibum was incredibly intimidating, even when he was trying to come off as a pleasant and charming.

There was something he wasn’t showing, Jonghyun could feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a couple more chapters left. I shall be posting next week despite shinee's last ep coming out and updates will become more frequent after the 26th :) thank you for being patient and supporting my work <3
> 
> follow me!  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon


	7. Chapter 7

The past couple of days flew by in Jonghyun’s opinion. He suffered through the live video broadcast awkwardly, and found that a lot of his listeners were young girls, roughly aged between sixteen and twenty. A lot of them were unashamed of voicing their thoughts on Jonghyun’s appearance on the live chat that had been set up.

The broadcast after was the regular kind, Jonghyun talking into the mic about everything and anything. He spoke about Valentines being a couple of weeks away, and a few listeners sent in messages asking for advice on how to treat their boyfriends for the holiday. Jonghyun jokingly replied that he had little care for the holiday, being bitterly single for so long, but he offered the same old generic advice: chocolate was always a winner, and dinner and a movie couldn’t go wrong by any feat. He also offered outlandish advice, using his creative writing as a focus point, and suggested that they try a hand at writing poetry or a song.

“Oppa, that’s something a man should do for their girlfriend!” One of the commenters responded and Jonghyun forced himself to chuckle, trying very hard not to roll his eyes. He then explained that to him, music is genderless and men can enjoy poetry and music as much as a girl can.

However, as smoothly as he thought his days were going, one thing still remained absent – Jinki was starting to ignore him again. Although he anticipated it was because of the guilt he felt over the kiss, it remained obvious from the way Kibum came to see him the day before that Jinki had no intention of leaving him for Jonghyun.

Saturday came around quickly and Jonghyun was back to where he was before, trying to pick out an outfit to impress Jinki and out-dress Kibum (if that were even possible). He’d even called a friend to help him out.

Said friend was currently stood in front of his wardrobe, _umming_ and _aahing_ over his clothing.

“Oppa, you have a terrible taste in clothes,” Yeri said, looking over her shoulder. “But! If you’re looking for a sophisticated look, you should wear this shirt and these jeans.” She plucked out a grey, satin-finish shirt that was a little baggy on Jonghyun’s frame and a pair of ripped black skinny fit jeans.

Jonghyun immediately took them from Yeri’s hand and headed towards his bathroom. He emerged a few moments later, his white t-shirt and sweatpants from before balled up under his arm. He dumped his old clothes on his bed and walked over to the mirror, nearly tripping over his mother’s old rug under Yeri’s scrutinising glare.

He stared at himself in the mirror and sighed. It was hopeless. He looked like a poorly dressed gigolo. “This is useless, Yeri. I’m not going.”

“Oppa, don’t be stupid! You want to spend time with Jinki-ssi, right?”

“How do you know about that?” Jonghyun asked, glaring at her.

“You were writing his name throughout the lecture yesterday. You filled up the entire page. Did you think you were being discreet?”

Jonghyun reddened and looked back at his reflection. Something was missing. “Help me here!”

“Okay, okay. Chill out, oppa.” Yeri walked over and tucked in the front of the shirt into the jeans. “You’ll need a belt.” She then popped open the first two buttons of the shirt, revealing Jognhyun’s distinctive mole between his collarbones. As she returned back to the wardrobe to grab a belt, Jonghyun quickly admired himself. Ah, he definitely looked much better. “Take this,” she then instructed, bringing over a plain black belt with a solid silver buckle. Jonghyun threaded it through and smiled. Perfect.

“This is… really good.”

“You look super sexy, oppa,” Yeri said, throwing her arms in the air. “You’re going to woo Jinki-ssi!”

“What makes you think-“

“Oppa, I may be nineteen, and I may be failing biology-“

“I thought it was chemistry-“

“Never mind that – I may be failing two sciences, but I am a lot smarter than people make me out to be.” She then turned away and picked up a pair of black combat boots. She blew the dust from them and handed them over.

Jonghyun slipped his feet in and tied the laces loosely. He then admired his overall outfit and grinned at himself. “This is genius work, Yeri, you should be a stylist.”

She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Maybe I should.”

The conversation continued as the two were walking out of Jonghyun’s apartment and as soon as he stepped out onto the pavement outside the complex he began to feel nauseous. “Oh, Yeri, what if Jinki doesn’t want to see me…”

“Don’t be silly. Why wouldn’t he?”

“I don’t know, he’s been avoiding me the past couple of days…”

Yeri shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe he’s trying to figure out his feelings for you.”

Jonghyun laughed curtly and then turned serious. “You think so?”

“I don’t know, oppa. I’m not Jinki-ssi. Anyway, you’re going to be late. Go!” The girl then sprinted in the opposite direction, waving goodbye to Jonghyun as she went. Jonghyun sighed as she retreated and began to count to three to calm his nerves. _To Gangnam we go then_ , he thought and he forced himself to take the next step towards the train station.

* * *

Jonghyun was the first to arrive to the karaoke bar and he was suddenly regretting this whole thing over and over again. He could easily just take the train back to his apartment and crawl into bed and sleep the weekend away and spend the rest of his life alone, ignored by the love of his life as Jinki and Kibum got more and more serious. No one would be any the wiser.

“Jonghyun?”

Well, so much for that plan. Jonghyun turned to his right and found Jinki and Kibum standing in front of him. Kibum was smiling politely but Jinki looked thoroughly confused. “H-hey, hyung. Kibum.”

“What are you doing here?” Jinki asked.

“I invited him,” Kibum confessed. “Let’s go karaoke!” He pulled Jinki inside, whilst the latter was unable to tear his eyes away from Jonghyun. Within a matter of minutes they had drinks and were sat in the same room they had before. Except, this time, Jinki wasn’t admiring the view. No, instead he was watching as Jonghyun slowly removed his thick padded coat to reveal Yeri’s chosen outfit. Jinki swallowed thickly, and audibly.

“Wow, you look good, Jonghyun-hyung,” Kibum said as he stripped his own coat off. He was wearing a pastel blue sweater and a plain white shirt. Point Jonghyun. “Doesn’t he look nice, Jinki?”

“Ye-ah,” Jinki replied brokenly, only managed to tear his eyes away from Jonghyun’s exposed collarbones to look at his boyfriend.

“I’m going to start!” Kibum then announced and bounded over to the machine, skipping through the channels until he reached Wendy’s song _Automatic_. “Actually… Jonghyun, I think you should sing this one.”

“What?”

“Come on, your voice would suit this song well,” Kibum urged and Jonghyun awkwardly stood up from his seat. He’d barely touched his beer and he was definitely not intoxicated enough to sing this song, but he’d try his best.

It was awkward at first, trying to get into the lyrics. He played this song a few times on Blue Night and he never really paid much attention to the lyrics up until now. He hadn’t realised how seductive they were.

He glanced over his shoulder to see Kibum having stolen his spot, scrolling through his phone. His eyes then darted over to Jinki who was still watching him with a sense of awe.

Feeling brave, he walked over to the table where their drinks sat and chugged his entire pint down, wiping his mouth and gasping before returning to the song. With his blood thoroughly tainted with alcohol, Jonghyun lost himself to the song, shaking his hips and even daring to act flirty with Jinki, who was incredibly receptive.

In their little world of adoration and intoxication, Kibum no longer existed to them. But, he was watching the whole encounter with eagle eyes. He was also the one to applaud Jonghyun when the song ended, urging Jinki to do the same.

“I’m next!” Kibum said, taking the microphone from Jonghyun and pushing him onto the sofa. The blond fell into Jinki’s lap, haphazardly, and protective hands came up and wrapped around Jonghyun’s small waist.

“Whoa, I didn’t think you were this slim,” Jinki whispered into his ear. Jonghyun felt himself going red and he pulled away from Jinki’s touch. Jinki’s gaze tore from Jonghyun’s to glance over his shoulder and he blanched. “I think Kibum knows.”

Jonghyun was about to ask how when the sounds of Girl’s Day’s _Something_ filled the room. Jonghyun’s heartbeat began to thud so loudly he was sure the whole venue could hear it. He turned to look over and Kibum who began to sing, staring directly at Jinki and Jonghyun, an accusatory glint in his eyes.

So, Kibum had known that Jonghyun was lying the whole time…it left a nauseous feeling in the pit of Jonghyun’s stomach.

As the song progressed, Kibum’s eyes never left the guilty duo. In fact, the only time his eyes were anything other than open was when he became invested in Minah’s high notes and closed his eyes involuntarily.

The song came to a close and the room fell deadly silent.

“Kibum, I-“ Jinki started but the brunet was already making his way over to where his coat was. “Kibum wait!” He clambered over Jonghyun’s body to get to Kibum, wrapped a gentle hand around his wrist to keep him still.

“Jinki, listen. I like you, I really do.” He brought up a hand to Jinki’s jaw and caressed his cheek delicately. “But, your heart belongs to someone else.” He glanced over Jinki’s shoulder. “Whether or not you’re aware of it. Be happy, Jinki-hyung. Take care.” He pressed a kiss to Jinki’s cheek before leaving the club.

“I think my boyfriend just tried to set us up,” Jinki said to Jonghyun. When he received no response, he looked over his shoulder to see Jonghyun fast asleep on the sofa, mouth hung open and snoring. “Oh, Jonghyun… You were really worried about today, huh?”

He draped the padded coat over Jonghyun’s sleeping form and Jinki ran through the list of songs before landing on Taeyeon’s _I Got Love_. He knew Jonghyun was a fan of her music, and even if he wasn’t awake to appreciate it, he would be aware subconsciously, Jinki was certain.

As the song came to a close, Jinki sat beside Jonghyun, and stroked through the bleached streaks. His roots were beginning to show through, little streaks of black hidden within the silver.

“I love you, hyung,” Jonghyun muttered in his sleep.

Jinki smiled at his friend before calling it a night. He put the microphone back in its respected place and put his coat on. He then helped Jonghyun dress himself and carried him on his back. He looked very out of place on the subway, two well-dressed gentlemen, one passed out on the other’s back, but Jinki paid no mind. He carried Jonghyun all the way to his apartment and, after wrestling with his thick coat to grab at his keys, even carried him to his bed.

“Jonghyun, do you know when I fell for you?” Jinki asked him. Jonghyun didn’t reply, still completely out of the world. “It was when I read that poem you thought you had hidden. It was so beautiful, so concise and clear that I nearly cried. I thought to myself, a man like that with so much pain in his heart deserved to be loved. You never gave me a reason to doubt myself, either. You’re selfless. You let me date Kibum even though it was tearing you apart inside and you even tried to save my relationship even though Kibum was one step ahead of us.” Jinki leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Jonghyun’s forehead. “Sleep well.”

And like that, Jinki left Jonghyun’s apartment, a light smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, i know, i shifted the narrative to jinki's point of view but i thought it would be important to the readers to see what exactly was going on with jinki too as this story is about mutual pining affection!  
> surprise! jinki was in love with jonghyun all along too!
> 
> Only one more chapter left and then I'll posting the final part, the jongtae version!  
> Thank you to everyone for your support and being amazing!
> 
> follow me!  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon


	8. Chapter 8

When Jonghyun awoke the next morning, he was surprised to find himself still dressed in the clothes from the night before. He tried to think back about the previous night but all he could remember was flirting with Jinki after downing his entire pint and then Kibum had sung that song… And then he’d fallen asleep.

“Jinki!” Jonghyun called out instinctively, wondering if his hyung had stayed the night like he was wont to do, but when he received no reply, he figured something bad must’ve happened. Sleepily he made his way into the living room and grabbed his coat and checked his mobile. He didn’t quite know how he got home and it worried him.

There were two text messages waiting for him on his phone.

The first was from Minho: “ _I just got home; want to meet up for coffee tomorrow_?”

Jonghyun sighed; he quickly typed an apology to his best friend before reading the next one, which was from Jinki.

“ _Hope you slept well. I carried you home, don’t worry. We need to talk._ ”

That definitely didn’t sound good. _We need to talk_ never sounded good to anyone ever. He pressed his phone to his forehead and groaned. Why was he such a colossal fuck up?

His phone then vibrated and bleeped at him and Jonghyun looked at it to see that Minho had sent a reply.

_“Don’t worry, I’m outside. Buzz me up?”_

And then sure as sure could be, Jonghyun’s intercom buzzed, alerting him to a guest. He tiredly padded over to the intercom and pressed the button to allow Minho in, not even bothering to say hello. As he waited for Minho to climb the stairs, he sat on his sofa and wondered over Jinki’s text. What exactly did it mean? What happened after Kibum’s song? Why did Jinki carry him home and not take a taxi?

All of his thoughts and worries were shoved away when a very loud knock came from his front door.

“Morning, hyung!” Minho greeted, holding two cups of coffee in his hand. “Wow, you look beat.”

“I’ve had a fun night,” Jonghyun replied sarcastically, letting Minho in. The taller took his shoes off quickly and ducked into Jonghyun’s apartment.

“I brought you an Americano.”

“What would you have done if I didn’t wake up?”

Minho thought for a moment, looking at the two to-go cups. “Have two coffees, I guess.”

Jonghyun shook his head, laughing breathily. He took Minho into the living room where they both took a seat on Jonghyun’s old sofa. “How was France?” Jonghyun then asked after taking a few sips of his coffee. He could already feel the caffeine doing its job, igniting his nerves.

“It was warm for winter but it wasn’t too unusual. It felt like autumn feels here.”

“Sounds nice. We’ve had snow.”

“I heard,” Minho laughed.

“How’s Irene doing?”

“Tired. Nauseous. Hungry. All the pregnant things.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to be a father… It feels so weird.”

Minho laughed awkwardly. “I feel the same sometimes. I look at myself in the mirror and I think, where did my sixteen year old self go?” He scratched at his cheek. “How’s the radio show going?”

“Well. It’s going well. We had Taemin on earlier.”

“Oh, I heard about that. Irene watched it on her laptop in between running presentations. She commented on how Taemin was flirting with you the whole time. I told her to stop being ridiculous.”

Jonghyun shifted in his seat. “Oh, that. That was just some dumb plan to make Jinki-hyung jealous.”

“Why would you want to make Jinki-hyung jealous?” Minho asked, frowning.

Oh, well, he hadn’t had this talk with Minho yet, obviously. “Minho, you are very oblivious. I’ve been in love with him since I started at Blue Night!”

“Was he the one who wrote that note on your poem about the moon?”

“ _I don’t think the moon is lonely, she always has her stars_ ,” Jonghyun recited by heart.

“Yeah, that’s the line. Wow, that was Jinki-hyung. And you’ve been pining for him for forever?”

“Pretty much,” Jonghyun admitted.

“Whoa… This is a lot to take in all at once. So, why were you trying to make him jealous?”

“Well, he’s dating this old friend from college, Kim Kibum-“

“Kim Kibum, as in the actor?”

“Yes, that’s the one. He and Jinki-hyung were dating and I guess I was roped in by Taemin because he somehow managed to seduce me into it, but I’m starting to think he was doing it for more than just being a good Samaritan.”

“I don’t think good Samaritans would do that to begin with, hyung.”

“No probably not. Well, anyway, it’s all a giant mess. Jinki-hyung and I ended up kissing in the boardroom after I confronted him and then Kibum did this whole show at karaoke last night and now everything is just sort of a… giant… mess.” He scratched at the polystyrene cup awkwardly.

Minho was silent for a long moment and Jonghyun wondered if he was disgusted by his actions. Then, Minho let out the loudest roar of laughter he’d ever heard. He was laughing so hard his pitch got higher and higher as he doubled over, nearly spilling his coffee. “Oh, wow, this is a real life drama you have going on, hyung.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Jonghyun grouched. “What do you think I should do?”

“Talk to Jinki-hyung, obviously.”

“It’s not that easy-“

“Of course it’s easy! Just arrange to see him and say hey, hyung, I’m madly in love with and have been for nearly two years, will you go out with me?”

“What if he’s still dating Kibum?”

“Then don’t add the ‘will you go out with me?’ at the end.” Minho shrugged. “I’m no love expert. I’ve been with the same girl since high school, but if Irene were here, she’d say the same thing.”

Jonghyun took another swig of his coffee and swallowed thickly. “Maybe I will. Help me pick out an outfit?”

Minho laughed again and agreed.

* * *

Jonghyun arranged to meet with Jinki later that afternoon, over lunch. His stomach was doing flips as he walked up to the restaurant they agreed on and he could see, through the window, that Jinki had already arrived and was waiting. He didn’t look tense or guilty or anything negative at all… In fact he seemed fresh-faced and happy.

Jonghyun took a deep breath and opened the door. Jinki noticed him and waved him over with a bright smile. “How did you sleep last night? I see you managed to get changed.”

“Yeah, I had Minho help me pick out an outfit.”

Jinki chuckled. “You need to rely on your own fashion sense. You cleaned up pretty well last night.”

“That wasn’t me. I enlisted the help of my friend from college.”

Jinki laughed again, tossing his head back. “You’re adorable,” he said, smiling at him sweetly.

“To answer your question,” Jonghyun said, clearing his throat and trying to fight back the blush that creeped over his cheeks and over his ears. “I slept well. I was a bit worried when I got your text this morning.”

“Ah, that,” Jinki said, turning serious. “How much do you remember of last night?”

“I remember Kibum singing _Something_ and then I blacked out.”

“Okay, good. Kibum and I broke up,” Jinki confessed and Jonghyun felt like he could do a thousand back flips, one after the other. “He said that he knew my heart belonged to someone else.”

“Oh,” Jonghyun muttered, feeling his hope and relief sink immediately. “Who?”

“Do you not have a single idea?” Jinki teased. “It’s you, you dummy.”

Jonghyun grinned so hard he was sure he would split his face in two. He’d never felt so happy in his entire life. “How did he know?”

“He just knew from the start I guess. He had practise, his last boyfriend cheated on him.”

That sounded familiar. “Oh, man, that sucks.”

“Yeah, Jino was never a good fit for him anyway,” Jinki continued.

“Wait – Jino?”

“Yes, Jino. Kibum was Key, Jonghyun.”

“So when he called up a few days ago asking about the person he was dating being in love with someone else…?”

“That was about me, Jonghyun,” Jinki explained.

“Well, no wonder he sounded so pissed with me.”

Jinki laughed. “Yeah, sometimes Kibum has a bit of an edge to him and he doesn’t realise he’s being brutally honest.”

“So…” Jonghyun then began. “What happens now?”

“Well, one of two things can happen now. We can just ignore how we feel about each other and continue being friends or we could just come clean here right now and see where it goes.”

Jonghyun smiled. “I like the sound of the second idea.”

Jinki nodded. “I agree. Shall I go first? Um… Wow, this is awkward… Jonghyun, I’ve been in love with you for a while now and I’m sorry I messed you around like this. But, in my defence, I thought you were straight and had no chance with you.”

Jonghyun scoffed. “Hyung… Thank you. I love you, too; I have ever since I saw you write that note on my poem.”

“Oh, God, that embarrassing note! I thought you didn’t see that,” Jinki covered his face with his hands and laughed loudly.

“You were right though, the moon will always have her stars,” Jonghyun said. “I think you’re my moon, hyung.”

“Now you’re just being cheesy for the sake of being cheesy,” Jinki admonished but he didn’t stop smiling.

“Are you two ready to order?” A waitress asked, coming up to them.

“Ah, yes,” Jonghyun began, tearing his adoring gaze away from his hyung to stare at the menu. “I’ll take kimchi fried rice, please.”

“I’ll just have the spicy squid gimbap please,” Jinki ordered, handing over his menu. Jonghyun followed suit and the waitress hurried away. “So.”

“So…”

“This is it then, I guess. You and me.”

Jonghyun smiled. “I really wouldn’t have it any other way, hyung.”

* * *

For the Valentine’s special Seulgi invited Taemin to come back for a live video broadcast where he and Jonghyun would read out anonymous love confessions. Something that Jonghyun had offered during a meeting, eyeing Jinki with a knowing smile.

As the idol spent is time preparing himself in the staff room, readying himself to go back into the studio, a familiar face turned up. Jonghyun had been standing in the kitchenette when Kibum, now sporting jet black hair, turned the corner carrying a cardboard box full of things that Jonghyun recognised as Jinki’s belongings.

“Hey, Jonghyun-hyung, when you see Jinki-hyung, can you give these to him?” Kibum asked, handing over the box to the DJ. Jonghyun noticed Taemin watching Kibum carefully from his periphery.

“Sure,” Jonghyun complied, taking the box and setting it down. “How have you been?”

“Ah, you know, a little worn out. My musical opened over the weekend-“

“I know you!” Taemin suddenly said, walking up to the two of them. “You’re the actor who played Clyde!”

Kibum was taken aback at his sudden recognition. “I- Yes, that’s me. You’ve seen my musical?”

“Yeah! I saw your face on the poster and I said to my manager ‘that’s my type’ and he just rolled his eyes at me, thinking I was talking about Dana. He got me tickets though. You killed it on the opening day.”

Kibum smiled bashfully. “Oh, well, thank you.”

Jonghyun watched with an amused smirk as the two continued to exchange flirty glances and little snippets of conversation. “Hey, why don’t you two stay here and get to know each other a bit better whilst I go get ready for today’s recording.”

“Sure,” Taemin said, waving him off.

“Whatever, hyung,” Kibum replied, never taking his eyes from Taemin.

Jonghyun chuckled all the way to the studio and pulled Jinki out of the booth. “You’ll never guess what’s going on in the staffroom,” he whispered in his boyfriend’s ear. Jinki allowed himself to pulled away by Jonghyun, as Seulgi and Joy watched on in complete bewilderment.

“No, really, what is going on between them?” Seulgi asked.

“I told you! They’re banging!” Joy replied.

Seulgi slapped Joy gently with her clipboard. “And I told you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Joy muttered. “I have a sixth sense for this type of thing.”

“The only thing you have a sixth sense for is when I bring cheesecake to the studio,” Seulgi teased and Joy glared at her boss.

Jinki and Jonghyun poked their heads around the door watching as Taemin and Kibum exchanged numbers and the latter said his goodbyes. Not wanting to get caught Jinki and Jonghyun ducked away and pretended to be in an intense conversation as Kibum walked out. As he left, he said goodbye to both Jinki and Jonghyun.

They then entered the staffroom to see Taemin staring at the little slip of paper holding Kibum’s phone number. And then he glanced over at the couple and smiled, biting at his lower lip, before skipping out of the staffroom.

“I have a feeling today’s broadcast is going to go splendidly,” Jonghyun surmised, circling an arm around Jinki’s waist to hold him close and Jinki agreed before pressing a kiss to Jonghyun’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it then! The end of the jongyu route of the Blue Night series.  
> I shall be posting up the Jongtae route on the 9th!
> 
> If you'd like to follow me!  
> twitter: @jjong_bluemoon
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading and enjoying this fic. It meant a lot to me as Jongyu it my favourite pairing to write for (and to love).  
> Thanks and see you soon! <33


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